Do Uncomfortable Things

A practice I have tried to incorporate into my everyday life is doing things that scares me. There’s a few reasons this is an important experience to seek out.

Things that make us feel uncomfortable or scared are generally things we consider to be ‘bad’ for us. I’m not saying you should go bungee jumping or wander around alone at night - what I’m referring to is smaller day to day issues we tend to label in our minds as scary or possibly harmful that really affect us emotionally but not physically. Things we are totally capable of that don’t have horrible consequences but we have identified as do not approach.

Now the tricky thing here is that our brain is programmed to protect us! Especially against anything we may have run into before that caused us issues in the past. Maybe a moment of embarrassment of getting something wrong when you raised your hand in class led you to not volunteer to give an answer anymore or going alone somewhere led to high anxiety and giving up and leaving. There’s nothing inherently harmful about these experiences other than a little blow to the ego. But as it turns out - we should be taking blows to the ego! 

Let’s unpack that. We are so afraid of social dejection because in our origin, the days of hunting and gathering, being an outsider of the tribe could lead to death! But in the modern day world, being judged or disapproved of by someone else does not actually harm us. In fact, it might even help you sort through who you really want to spend your time around. 

It’s a humbling experience that we can learn from - recognizing we are able to be embarrassed or upset and can then recover from the thing that happened to us is an important human experience. It allows us to build resilience so that the next time it happens, we know it won’t actually harm us and that we can, in fact, get through it. Embarrassment, failure, and confusion are difficult emotions to face, but they all have practical applications in building our tolerance to live better lives - and will always be a part of our lives! We can’t avoid them forever. They can teach us to reflect on what’s important to us, what is worth sacrificing comfort for. They can also teach us how to stand back up, to build an attitude of not caring about what others think (especially in regards to little things). 

Essentially what I’m suggesting is exposure therapy at its finest.

______

I recently reflected on this while having a conversation with someone I love. I was struggling to step out of my comfort zone at work and felt like I wasn’t growing like I was before. After some digging we got to the root of the issue - I had never really failed before! I had been naturally good at sports, a smart kid who worked hard in school, got into the hardest school I applied to and had never been fired or really disappointed anyone. This hit me like a truck - my life had been pretty darn successful, and the idea of doing something and not succeeding struck me down like lightning! I was paralyzed at the thought of trying something and it not panning out. Yet how would I get anywhere in life with this mindset? 

Failure is inevitable. You will fall down. As you make more important decisions you will have to work for how much you want to succeed. You have to be ready for the failure (learning opportunities) that comes with everything. We don’t start out as experts, we have to try things out and see if they work - inevitably leading to some setbacks. To get to that success story you need to be able to come back from the failure. To be able to try something new, fail, and then get back up and try again. Maybe twice, three times, maybe 10! But if you keep trying, if you keep working hard to attain what you feel passionate about and are open to the trial, error, and redirection that comes with it you can make it happen.

The question is, how do you respond when you’re flat on your face, or feeling unworthy because your idea didn’t work out, and want to give up? Do you give in, or have you practiced failure and discomfort to the point where you can work through that. Practicing discomfort and doing things that scare us strengthen that muscle for us, that resilience. As an adult it can be easy to take the easy way out. To give up, autopilot down the path of least resistance, and blame the rest of the world or your past for the way it turns out. No one else will hold you accountable to do the things you want to do. That’s all you boo. The beautiful thing here is that technically, you have the power to choose how you respond. We are in control of some things in life and how we respond to the situation handed to us is one of them. This is made easier by practicing, seeking, and working through discomfort (not getting past it or around it but really feeling and working THROUGH the experience). So what will you choose to do when you fall?

Get out there and try it out! Do something that scares you today - I promise it won't be nearly as harmful as you think. Compliment a stranger, or maybe even just start up a conversation with one. Share some vulnerable emotions on an online platform. Dance in public! Holy heck, please dance. Go out and have a drink alone at a bar without your phone. Do meditation or yoga in the park (to hell with what other people might be thinking about you - they’re probably too caught up in their own silly world of self-judgment and doubt to even think about you). Do some art, especially if you think you suck at it. It’s gonna be difficult at first, especially if you avoid being uncomfortable (like most people these days), but the more you practice, the more you will find yourself getting comfortable doing these things! 

Expand your circle of comfort friends, you might learn something about yourself or even grow a little bit :)

Blessings, love and gratitude to all those who take a moment of their lives to read what I have to share,

Paige Do uncomfortable things!

A practice I have tried to incorporate into my everyday life is doing things that scares me. There’s a few reasons this is an important experience to seek out.

Things that make us feel uncomfortable or scared are generally things we consider to be ‘bad’ for us. I’m not saying you should go bungee jumping or wander around alone at night - what I’m referring to is smaller day to day issues we tend to label in our minds as scary or possibly harmful that really affect us emotionally but not physically. Things we are totally capable of that don’t have horrible consequences but we have identified as do not approach.

Now the tricky thing here is that our brain is programmed to protect us! Especially against anything we may have run into before that caused us issues in the past. Maybe a moment of embarrassment of getting something wrong when you raised your hand in class led you to not volunteer to give an answer anymore or going alone somewhere led to high anxiety and giving up and leaving. There’s nothing inherently harmful about these experiences other than a little blow to the ego. But as it turns out - we should be taking blows to the ego! 

Let’s unpack that. We are so afraid of social dejection because in our origin, the days of hunting and gathering, being an outsider of the tribe could lead to death! But in the modern day world, being judged or disapproved of by someone else does not actually harm us. In fact, it might even help you sort through who you really want to spend your time around. 

It’s a humbling experience that we can learn from - recognizing we are able to be embarrassed or upset and can then recover from the thing that happened to us is an important human experience. It allows us to build resilience so that the next time it happens, we know it won’t actually harm us and that we can, in fact, get through it. Embarrassment, failure, and confusion are difficult emotions to face, but they all have practical applications in building our tolerance to live better lives - and will always be a part of our lives! We can’t avoid them forever. They can teach us to reflect on what’s important to us, what is worth sacrificing comfort for. They can also teach us how to stand back up, to build an attitude of not caring about what others think (especially in regards to little things). 

Essentially what I’m suggesting is exposure therapy at its finest.

______

I recently reflected on this while having a conversation with someone I love. I was struggling to step out of my comfort zone at work and felt like I wasn’t growing like I was before. After some digging we got to the root of the issue - I had never really failed before! I had been naturally good at sports, a smart kid who worked hard in school, got into the hardest school I applied to and had never been fired or really disappointed anyone. This hit me like a truck - my life had been pretty darn successful, and the idea of doing something and not succeeding struck me down like lightning! I was paralyzed at the thought of trying something and it not panning out. Yet how would I get anywhere in life with this mindset? 

Failure is inevitable. You will fall down. As you make more important decisions you will have to work for how much you want to succeed. You have to be ready for the failure (learning opportunities) that comes with everything. We don’t start out as experts, we have to try things out and see if they work - inevitably leading to some setbacks. To get to that success story you need to be able to come back from the failure. To be able to try something new, fail, and then get back up and try again. Maybe twice, three times, maybe 10! But if you keep trying, if you keep working hard to attain what you feel passionate about and are open to the trial, error, and redirection that comes with it you can make it happen.

The question is, how do you respond when you’re flat on your face, or feeling unworthy because your idea didn’t work out, and want to give up? Do you give in, or have you practiced failure and discomfort to the point where you can work through that. Practicing discomfort and doing things that scare us strengthen that muscle for us, that resilience. As an adult it can be easy to take the easy way out. To give up, autopilot down the path of least resistance, and blame the rest of the world or your past for the way it turns out. No one else will hold you accountable to do the things you want to do. That’s all you boo. The beautiful thing here is that technically, you have the power to choose how you respond. We are in control of some things in life and how we respond to the situation handed to us is one of them. This is made easier by practicing, seeking, and working through discomfort (not getting past it or around it but really feeling and working THROUGH the experience). So what will you choose to do when you fall?

Get out there and try it out! Do something that scares you today - I promise it won't be nearly as harmful as you think. Compliment a stranger, or maybe even just start up a conversation with one. Share some vulnerable emotions on an online platform. Dance in public! Holy heck, please dance. Go out and have a drink alone at a bar without your phone. Do meditation or yoga in the park (to hell with what other people might be thinking about you - they’re probably too caught up in their own silly world of self-judgment and doubt to even think about you). Do some art, especially if you think you suck at it. It’s gonna be difficult at first, especially if you avoid being uncomfortable (like most people these days), but the more you practice, the more you will find yourself getting comfortable doing these things! 

Expand your circle of comfort friends, you might learn something about yourself or even grow a little bit :)

Blessings, love and gratitude to all those who take a moment of their lives to read what I have to share,

Paige