Find Failure

We are so swayed by the ideas of success and failure. We strive so hard to become one and avoid the other. We have come to associate feelings and outcomes with each of these, defining what they are in our minds and deciding to seek for one and avoid the other.

But here’s the tricky thing about success that we often don’t acknowledge. You fail, probably multiple times, in order to learn your way up to ‘success’. How can we achieve something to a successful standard without first exploring and understanding what not to do.

Learning is a deeply natural and integral part of growth. We are destined to change and grow, but what you learn and become is up to you. So here we have to choose what we want to fail at, what we want to suffer for, what we are willing to put time and emotional energy into. Do you want to learn what it feels like to fail to show up for yourself every day? Or do you want to learn what it is like to fail at trying to make a piece of art, put yourself out there, or care for yourself. Do you want to learn what it feels like not to try? Or do you want to know what trying and failing feels like. In the latter we can reflect on what we could do differently next time, but in the former we don’t even grant ourselves the opportunity to build potential.

We are creative beings, through and through. We are born to express and create in this beautiful dance of life. We ultimately choose (at least some of) the things we do. I would argue we choose in each and every little action we partake in daily. So it is up to you, what would you like to try and fail and learn about today? Will you take that next step, that very uncomfortable next step, with the intention of not meeting your success standard, but at the very least learning something that will help you next time you put your foot forwards?

Having this expectation of learning rather than just expecting success will give us the room to breathe and grow that we need. Holding ourselves to insane 100% success rate standards will set us up to fail even harder - we will resist trying new things for fear of failure will turn us away. 

When you can open your heart up to failure and see the opportunity and beauty and potential within it, you will begin succeeding much easier than you anticipated. You will be able to overcome that fear of ‘what if I fail’ because you will know it is part of the process. In fact it is integral if you really want to create your dreams. 

So invite failure in. Find little parts of your life you can start pushing yourself to fail at, a new hobby, try some art, put yourself out there on social media, talk to someone and get rejected! These all may seem so scary but in reality - we will live! You will wake up tomorrow and honestly, if you can shift your perspective on failure, you might even feel grateful for what you attempted to do. And maybe you even learned something. But hey, at least you tried. 

And if you decide to, then try to be proud of yourself too (another daunting and difficult task that is very much so, worth your time.)

With love and light and the deepest gratitude for trying to fail,

Paige