Highest Self Reflection

This week I am taking a vacation from work. I have the week off which, to me, means I will be diving back into my routine, haibits, and self care practices that best support my well-being. Working in wilderness therapy on trail (a biweekly lifestyle of living and sleeping outdoors with a group of about five adolescent boys) can make it difficult to practice self care and self inquiry. The most alone time I am able to acquire for myself in a day is about an hour. The rest of my time is spent in problem solving, conflict resolution, and fostering connection. These are the things I love so deeply about my job, yet at the same time I long for the alone time to rest, recover, and reflect. 

This aspect of committing time to myself became imperative to me when I graduated college about a year ago in January 2023, suddenly having an open schedule and massive amounts of free time. Until May when I moved out of my apartment in Boston I had created a solid daily routine in which I dedicated myself to writing, learning, and my physical health. Lately I have found myself reminiscing on this time of my life, wanting to reinstate that security and grounding foundation that gave me the power to show up a better person and start investing in my future. I was feeling physically and mentally the best I ever had in my life. 

I was often looking for ways to continue improving myself. I had come out of college generally pessimistic about life, feeling alone and lost often. I began to turn to my self help books or my journaling prompts on Pinterest. From one of the books that had the biggest impact on my life, Your Power to Create You by Glenn Kakely, I learned the importance of cultivating a clear picture of who you want to be and what you want to do in your life. 

The first step to becoming who you desire to be, is to know this future self - see them - understand as much as you can about where they will end up. This is how you can begin to take aligned action in the now - by first having the vision you want to move towards. It’s difficult to work towards a goal that’s illusory and unclear. I found that it led me to a lot of self doubt and confusion - thoughts of ‘I don’t know how to do this’ or ‘I don’t know what I want’ believing I would never be capable of achieving such things. The image you conjure up of your best self doesn’t need to be set in stone - life is constantly dynamic and changing - but it acts as an important stepping stone that can offer you a place to start, which can prove to be the most difficult part of the equation of creation.

Thus one of my favorite practices became reflecting on what my highest self looked like, down to the most minute details I can imagine. Sitting down and taking the time to do this, although it might be difficult at first, is worth the discomfort. Moving through our discomfort and deciding what is worth suffering for is one of the most important distinctions we can make in life (because many of the best things and growth moments require a good deal of moving away from the known and comfortable). I appreciate this exercise each time I put the time into it and now fall back on it often to recenter my mind and give myself some direction.

I invite you to join me and at some point this week take a moment for yourself. Set aside some intentional space and time, maybe make your favorite drink or go to a coffee shop you like. Light a candle, get cozy, sit at a desk, lay outside, whatever a safe space looks like to you. Perhaps if it’s within your practice try meditating for a moment to sit with what is going on for you internally before you begin diving in.

Describe with the most detail you can what your best self, your highest self, is. This can be done on paper or mentally. Try to elicit feelings of excitement, pride, gratitude and joy if possible (notice where these show up in your body). Think of their job, their connections, their habits, their routines, their location, what they are grateful for, who they love, how they get to work, where home is, what they look like. 

I would love to hear if anyone tries this or what takeaways come from this reflection. My hope for you is that you are able to envision something you love about this best version of you and begin to show up as them today through your choices, words, and actions.

With deep gratitude, peace and love, 

Paige