To be at peace

Imagine a person at peace, what do they look like? Their facial features, their body’s posture, their emotional aura, their essence; what does it encapsulate?

To me I imagine someone with a soft smile, relaxed face, no tension, no gripping. I imagine their shoulders back and soft, their body moving slowly and gracefully with intention. No worry or anger. Not avoiding or clinging. They are grateful and accepting to be exactly where they are. Making the best of what is in front of them.

This image has been popping up a lot for me as I have been diving into the worlds of yoga, reiki, and meditation once again. (Often I have lulls of time when I am not dedicated to these practices and lose sight of their incredible influence, but as I am home for the holidays I am creating a self reset.)

I have been moving my body more, trying to practice at least a bit of yoga each day (but if I miss practice, I try very hard not to hold it against myself, one of my pitfalls in working towards peace). I’ve been working with breath work more, which has proven very helpful for my mental state even within a one or two sessions. I have been researching and learning about reiki, a new topic that intrigues me with its ancient traditional healing methods.

Anyway, returning back to peace, I’d like you to equate this word with equanimity. While listening to a podcast recently I came upon the word equanimity. It is to hold both pleasant and unpleasant experiences in equal regard. When faced with a stimulus, equanimity is finding ease in no matter what is happening. It encapsulates acceptance. Now of course this is a difficult thing to master, being non-reactive, holding all experiences at equal value, not clinging to pleasant or trying to push away and avoid unpleasant. Losing ourselves in the worries or thoughts about the experience generally makes it worse yet our bodies were biologically made to avoid unpleasantness and seek pleasantness. 

Now return to your concept of the person at peace. This person, do they seem reactive? Do they have huge emotional swings or extreme beliefs about their experiences? If a bad thing happened to them, how would they react? In my mind's eye, they are non-reactive, finding the situation to just be what it is. Not attaching to rid themselves of it or cling to an alternative way of being. They are just being. The epitome of acceptance

This concept has taken me a while to understand and come to terms with, as it is hard to imagine how not to react to things, but as I try to develop this idea, I think I am starting to understand how to live a peaceful life. In reactivity we give our inner power to the external world. We are lost flailing, with no control. To find this inner power and wield it to create peace is how we can overcome mental suffering.

Personally I am a very reactive person. I believe this comes from some teaching experiences when I was young, people around me making a big deal of things and having grandiose reactions. Now it is my responsibility to attempt to rewire my brain. Reteach and course correct. When we are able to notice thoughts as they come up, not attach to them as necessarily our ‘truth’ and then choose to correct them with a different reaction (perhaps a less intense one, one laced with acceptance), we can heal our depression, anxiety, fear, pain, and mental suffering. We don’t have to continue down the same path, choosing to react in the ways we have in the past.

You are the only one who can choose to change your thoughts which in turn will change your life. And yes, it takes work, it takes practice, and it takes letting go of those identities that are holding you back. Maybe you are anxious, but that doesn’t mean you are damned to be that way forever. So next time you’re feeling upset or anxious, notice what outcome you are trying to attach to. Are you pushing something away or avoiding a problem inside? Are you clinging to an outcome that you want and feeling like it’s unfair that it’s not turning out that way?

Think of your person at peace. How would they go about the situation? How can you lessen your reaction to the experience in front of you to align with acceptance?

If you find this might be difficult, I am now taking clients for coaching on living a peaceful and fulfilling life. Please reach out for a consultation if you would like to connect. Consults are free and pricing for sessions is on a sliding scale :)

Thank you for joining me for today’s reflection and sharing. I hope you can begin to align yourself with the peaceful person in your mind's eye. Come back to them in times of struggle. And if you’d like help doing that, let me know! I’d be honored to share some wisdom and guidance.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige