The Never Ending To Do

Often times we find ourselves waiting for the next thing to happen in our lives. We’re anticipating our next vacation or exciting event, finding work and the mundane world becoming a place we escape from. Having something to look forward to can be helpful to keep us looking towards the future and planning things for ourselves that we know we will enjoy. At the same time, this might look like day dreaming and mentally removing ourselves from our reality, serving as a form of escapism from our current situations.

Over time we may slip into a routine or daily pattern that leads us to lose the novelty and excitement that comes with initial change. Perhaps it wears off over time and you find yourself getting bored with life. Maybe it’s even stressful or overwhelming at times, leading you to dream about the next time you wont have anything to do on your plate.

This is where the problem arises, when we start waiting for a time in our lives where there won’t be any problems and think that’s when we will finally be happy. With this narrative we are feeding ourselves an inaccurate expectation. Life truly never comes to the place where there are no longer any problems to solve. There will always be something to work towards or to finish up or to decide on. Even if you have no deadlines or inherent ‘to do’ lists, you will find yourself facing free time at some point which you will have to decide what to do with (a problem if seen as such, and opportunity if seen in a different light). Problems are what make up meaning in our lives. It is our birthright to take on obstacles and overcome them. Without any obstacles our life would be incredibly boring.

Think of the times when you felt your best. Perhaps you made a life changing decision, did something hard, or you overcame an obstacle you’d been struggling with. I know for me personally every time I put effort and work into something I care about or love I come out on the other end feeling meaning and purpose. Even with something so unappealing such as writing an essay for school, getting it done and working hard gave me a rush of feeling capable and proud compared to resisting it until the last moment and feeling disappointed with work I didn’t put thought into. The easy day’s are nice too, yet there were  still things I had to do on my to do list. The bare minimum of taking care of myself - drinking water, doing yoga, completing simple routines and chores - those things are always on my plate. I can view them as problems and annoying tasks I have to do, or I can change my mindset. 

I decided to start viewing these to do lists as opportunities. I read a quote in a book that said something along the lines of having bills to pay means we have things that help us live worth paying for, and therefore we are given the opportunity to pay bills because the things we have are worth it. I don’t inherently enjoy drinking water but finding gratitude for the ability to nourish my body with clean drinking water makes it easier. Reminding myself that doing yoga will leave me feeling at peace and connected, even if I’m not in the mood, comes with gratitude for being able to move my body. Even writing these blog posts, not every day do I find the motivation and inspiration to sit down and write, often it feels like a burden or task that takes up time I don’t have and would rather spend relaxing and doing nothing. Today I reflect on the work I’ve put into developing my website and the gift of being able to share my words. Rather than feel dread to write, I feel fulfillment. This makes me happy, reflecting on these tasks as opportunities to engage with life and care for myself rather than things I have to do.

Happiness isn’t a state that we can obtain, it is a feeling that comes and goes like all other emotions and feelings. It’s not a permanent state we can capture and keep. It is fleeting. It comes to us in moments when we are doing things we care about and that matter to us. When we are able to accomplish something we are proud of, or when we connect with the people around us, or when we are present and mindful of what is happening in our lives. All these things take work, it really never ends! Yet we choose to decide if these things are worth suffering for. And dealing with the suffering is okay, if you are doing things you value and believe are worth suffering for. We have the power to alter our mindset to look at problems as being okay. So why kid yourself that one day you can be happy as soon as it all ‘stops’, when in reality, life doesn’t just stop.

The way you can counteract this and come into happiness, even with the mundane, is to actively choose to see the beauty and the good. This is an intentional action - and not necessarily an easy one to cultivate at that. To find something to appreciate in your boring day to day tasks can change your experience drastically. For some people this can be connecting to a higher purpose and knowing that this menial task is part of how they will be able to make a change in life - the long term goal. It also might look like some simple gratitude for your body's ability to do what it is doing or that you have the stability to have a home to take care of. Maybe it’s seeing that tomorrow is never promised, and cherishing the moment that exists in front of you right now - because even just being alive, feeling the experience, is something to be grateful for. Or realizing what you value enough to suffer for, because ultimately we will struggle through making things happen, but if what we are making happen matters to us and we think about that it can help support us in our journey. 

I challenge you to find a time in the day when you are doing a task or activity that feels like work, that you don’t want to be doing and would rather just fast forward through. Reflect on what that task will do for you, what abilities and gifts you have in order to do that thing, or find just one thing to be grateful for about it. Cultivating a mindset shift from resistance and frustration to appreciation and fulfillment can be hard work, so be patient and have grace yourself while working on this. 

There is so much to appreciate right in this moment! Look for it :)

With deep gratitude for the opportunity to write, read, share, and connect,

Paige